Christmas gifts and family rifts

We are about to enter the Christmas holidays when thoughts are of home and family, but frequently also of there being just one more Christmas to get through before a relationship is brought to an end.

Sadly such endings are all too often acrimonious, hostile, physically and emotionally painful and financially challenging.

It is therefore refreshing that this week has been designated “Good Divorce Week”. Family lawyers have been reminding those considering, or in the process of divorce and separation, that anything that can be done to preserve, rather than diminish, family relationships, ought to be done. The pain that surrounds the break-up ought not to be carried forward into how the couple thereafter end the relationship.A continuation of those feelings inevitably leads to more expense, increasing distrust and difficulty in communication, which not only affect the already strained relationship between the adults, but importantly may adversely affect the wellbeing of the children of the relationship.

Specialist family lawyers can assist by advising in plain English what steps ought to be taken to bring about the end of the relationship in the best possible way. Couples should always consider discussing the difficulties that have arisen with a mediator if there is no immediate prospect of them being able to resolve matters by direct discussions between themselves.

It is, in my view, infinitely more preferable for parties to come to a fair agreement themselves rather than ask a Court to determine what should happen.If, therefore, the promise of a New Year also heralds a potential change of relationship, take advice at the earliest opportunity.Listen to each other even though that process may be painful.Be honest with one another and do not be tempted into making or accepting proposals about your future without the benefit of experienced, specialist legal advice.

You can get initial legal advice from some family lawyers at either low or no cost.There are several lawyers who offer a low or no cost initial interview, which could be used to discuss what has occurred and what options you may have and which should be explored.This will help you move forward positively.When there are financial issues or issues regarding the care of children, prompt initial action and being able to establish a road map to your future is important.

You do not have to feel powerless in this situation, but neither does divorce always have to become a battle ground.